My underwear smells like fireworks.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize