Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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