I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
This girl is more easily done than said...
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
