I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
