I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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