My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
