Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
