If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize