to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
