I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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