I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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