Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Your cock deserves a montage
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize