I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Farmville is her only friend.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
