so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Randomize
