I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
