I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
