just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize