Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
