Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
