Just fell off a train. Bad.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
