You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize