I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
