I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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