YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
you had me at cake vodka
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
