I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
