You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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