just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
