that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
high people should be assigned attendants
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
