And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Randomize
