butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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