She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
