He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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