I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
