So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
