Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
splinters make it hard to masturbate
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
