If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize