I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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