I hope mine doesn't look like that
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
