think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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