What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
