If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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