My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize
