I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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