i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I need to sanitize my soul.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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