dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
