I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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