So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize