You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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