i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
