she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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