come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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