so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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