Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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