No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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