Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
