i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
