can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
