You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
