that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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