Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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