The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
