We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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