Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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