Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
