I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
