He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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