y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
