my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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