I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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