Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
