yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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