Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
